I hate maca for dating justin. i hate me for hating maca i hate justin for likeing maca. i hate me for going out with zachhh i hate that im scared to kiss him. i hate that chris and i aren't dating. he is who i want to be with. but i dont think he wants to be w me cuz i won't put out but i don't wanna put out im 13! i think im in love w chris and i have 4 classes w him n it hruts to look at him. i think im bi polar and its making me really depressed lately. i hate people more then ever. i have little energy i miss everyone.

COME BACK TO ME THE WAY YOU WERE THE WAY YOU WERE WHEN WE WERE YOUNG. 

so when u gonna realize those are not your wrongs to write.


i need help
help fucking help
i need to see my therapist [court ordered]
i need someone to really listen and care my dad is secrelty od depressed i no that. and i no roy loves me i ove him too so so much but jeez! n eric is my baby brother .

i need a woman. a maternal figure to talk to.
right now im all choked up and wanna cry my throats sore.
i wish someone would come up to me and say everythings going to be okay.
one day this will be better for you. this life. this love. this image. your going to be alright.

i need that.  i need to feel safe. i can't date shy guys my bf is so shy.

i no people love me.
but i wish ic ould die. or vanish for a few days n people think i was gone then come back and be like ... and ppl be like i missed you i love u and rlly mean it

i no a few people would miss me. but i wish a bunch of people would miss me like when alex died rip alex<3 july 3.

i need to know people still care. i need to be confident i want to loose some wieght.

im 13 ok! im insecure and live in a house full of boys. i'm not the skinniest but im going to get fit
im gonna loose wieght and prove everyone who made fun of me wrong
 im going to feel beautiful. its not like i have a mom to come to and cuddle up to
i need someone to be strong like tht for me and there is noone there. god its so har not to cry right now

maca really does care i no i say i hate her but im jealous cuz she is going out w a boy i had a secret crush on.


she says justin makes her feel hope.

i need my mom. i need a mother figure. i miss my momm

i miss her backrubs her hugs her kisses


one day im going to grow up and forget what she looks like.
i think maybe ill be ok. idk.
bye who ever reads this. [: comment if u have suggestions or advice

Maca and justin are dating.
Justins cute. has low self esteem though i thnk...
Im dating Zach.
Why do i still think about Chris? 
Jared keeps calling me. do i liek it? do i want him? he is a little wierd. a bit of a hoe.
I told Faiez i would teach him how to kiss but im not so good myself. plus im not into him anymore. i thought i was but im not. i need more from a boyfriend. all me n Zach do is talk on aim. i need him to be there. to hold. to be held.
but im so fucking self concious. i NEED to loose wieght. I want straight hair i think it makes me look nice. all my friendss are pretty and i feel so ugly.
Maca changed...she is different. i want pills like she has
i need pills. i want food im hungry right nowww
i newed to write my essay but im not its due soon!
i dress ...dark.... i want to fit into preppish clothes. i want to loose wieght
I Need to loose weight.
i hate sasha i hate raul for making me self concious. i hate people who are beautiful n make me feel fat